______ o My World o ____

Friday, January 19, 2007

TIME TO REVIVE MY BLOG~~~

my blog has been dead for way too long le. shld be time to post my first entry for year 2007 le bei. though its very late le. but better late than nvr...hehe.

been kinda obsessed with takin pics of clouds recently. dont know y also. probably due to all the things troublin me recently bei. lookin at the clouds give me all the comfort that i needed even though its jus for a moment. a short moment is all i need. a short moment of peacefulness without any worries. i love clouds ever since i was a kid. still rmb the times when i loved to draw clouds. it seems so long ago...

took from outside classroom

nice...

went up to the 7th floor to have a clearer view

clouds before storm

clouds at fuhua...

nth is goin well for me recently bei. whether its ncc or studies. it jus sux. i seem to be losin myself soon. i dont seem to recognise myself anymore. im losin my confidence. im losin evrything.

times have changed. cadets are no longer the same as wat we were in the past. nowdays they talked back to clts, attitude us & give all sorts of nonsense that will not be expected of us in the past. isit times have changed or isit that i didnt do my job to discipline them? i dont know....

i have been thinkin hard whether agreein to help nan hua is a mistake or not. i looked forward to the challenge there initially. the challenge to bring a unit up. but after goin there, it seems a bigger challenge than i have expected. first their clt have taught the cadets lots of wrong stuff which they dont know is wrong. its hard to correct them as it seems that they had been psychoed. nxt their teachers & the sch is not that supportive of the ncc unit. theres so many restrictions here & there.

i have been thinkin long & hard. isit a mistake in the first place? will syamil, woei leun & me be able to make a difference to nan hua. im startin to doubt my own ability as a clt, as a leader. am i even fit to be one? my bro had said before that i dont deserve my rank. do i have the capability to help to lift their unit up? im beginnin to see my own limits at nan hua. do i have the same capability as sclt wee hock, sclt steven ho & sclt chee kaur that helps to build fuhua ncc from scratch? all the qn marks have been appearin in my mind. its givin me slpless nites.

with my fuhua cadets

like wat wl has said...

BEING A CLT IS TOUGH. BEING A SCLT IS EVEN TOUGHER.

am i fit to wear the sclt rank. i really doubt so...

BEING A LEADER IS TOUGH. BEING A LEADER THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN OTHERS LIFE IS EVEN TOUGHER.

misses.

[my world]'3:02 AM;